What do you really need to know about the FIST? Well EVERYTHING!
THE FIST will rock you like a hurricane!
THE FIST is a 100-megaton nuclear missile headed straight for your brain!
THE FIST is like a giant shot of visual heroin jammed straight into your mind-veins!
THE FIST wants to take your teenage daughter out on a date and bring her home two days later, reeking of alcohol and sex.
THE FIST is going back to Vietnam to "finish the job".
THE FIST pulled Excalibur out of the stone using one finger.
THE FIST is gonna crash a plane into the Capitol unless you release our hostages.
THE FIST is running down a hill on fucking fire!
THE FIST swallowed a gallon of cyanide and didn't even get heartburn.
THE FIST beat the shit out of Godzilla and didn't even have to get up from its recliner to do it.
THE FIST derails freight trains with its penis for fun.
THE FIST is like a mushroom cloud made from smaller yet equally powerful mushroom clouds.
THE FIST will rip your god-damned lungs out if you talk during "Law and Order".
THE FIST is like a sledgehammer made of shotgun shells shot out of a gun made of anthrax.
THE FIST killed all the Kennedys...even the ones that are still alive.
THE FIST is a Yeti, a Sasquatch and a Wooly Mammoth all rolled into one wrapped inside a 900-foot tall cobra.
THE FIST eats elephants for breakfast and uses giraffes for toothpicks.
THE FIST is like Altamont except that instead of a stabbing, there was an atomic explosion.
THE FIST robbed Fort Knox and melted all the gold down to make a giant hammer. Then THE FIST went up to heaven and hit Jesus in the head with it.
THE FIST chewed raw steel into bullets and shot itself in the eye for fun.
THE FIST punched the air so hard that it ripped a hole in the fabric of time and accidentally let a rogue sabre tooth tiger through. Then THE FIST karate chopped it so hard that it turned into a pool of warm, steaming, tan fur...
THE FIST fell off the back of a pterodactyl and hit the ground so hard that it created the Grand Canyon.
THE FIST is like The Who, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Turbonegro, Kansas, Styx, ABBA, Motorhead, Boston, Black Oak Arkansas, The Cro-Mags, Black Flag, Winger, and Devo all jamming on the same stage at the same time...only louder!
THE FIST is like if Zeus arm-wrestled Odin inside an active volcano during an earthquake.
THE FIST can beat itself into pieces and then beat the pieces back into a whole again.
Ready to join THE FIST ARMY? Do you think you can handle it? Well do you, punk?!?